A Page Of My Diary: The Last Kiss

Yesterday night revived my memories of the time spent with her. Who is she? Only I, Saumya, Aarnav, Shael, Jiya and of course she, herself know.

That time Jiya was nowhere in the frame and she was the one whom I considered the second girl of my life, of course first one is Saumya.

The Last Kiss doesn't literally mean the last one, but with someone I really care about, and YES it was the last kiss with her.

It was so smooth and divine that made me feel thirst and satisfaction at the same time.

I happened almost a year and half ago but i still feel the smoothness of her lips, eternity of her touch.

It was Aug 29, 2009, she called me to the Mc D. at CP and as usual I was late. But when i reached there, i searched for her, i was dying to get one glimpse of her. What an alluring sight when she came before me, it was the first time when i saw her in Indian attires, in white suit with aqua shades.

There I did the thing that i usually do not, i.e. I kept silent, and so she was. I was not even looking at her.

"Lets eat something." She asked and I nodded in reply.

She then took the same thing that we used to had.

"So wassup?" Finally, she broke the silence.

You tell how are you? I backfired.

"Cant we have the same relationship that we earlier had?" She asked.

It turned into NO ANSWERS ONLY QUESTION ARENA.

See, whatever happened between us cant be truncated or roll-backed. I replied.

"So what? we can continue with the relationship as THAT thing never happened."

It can be easy for you, but for me its impossible as am having few rules to drive my life. I retaliated.

"Cant you compromise with your rules for my sake? On that very day i told you that i cant afford loosing you, breaking up with you will seriously break me down. You are the only friend of mine with whom i can share up to everything atleast i dont want to loose you as a friend of mine."

You know me, I cant. I replied and again switched to silent mode.

She then said millions of words but got nothing in reply.

"Okay, lets move." She finally said.

We then started walking towards Rajiv Chowk Metro Station and then headed towards VishwaVidyalaya.

"Do you love me?" She asked, breaking the silence.

Of course I do. I replied.

"Then why are you doing this and making things complicated." She said. One can easily noticed that she was about to cry, and that was making me feel guilty.

I always wanted to be the reason behind her smile and i actually was but later i turned into the reason for her tears.

I too wanted to cry, didnt know why. Because of guilt or because of her. But i didnt.

I love you and will love you forever, but you know that i cant love you more than i love Aarnav, Saumya and Shael." I tried to explain.

"I know this and do respect the friendship you people share. And i'll never bother even if their is any other name. I just want to be in your life atleast in the same manner i was."

You know I love you. I asked and she nodded in reply.

And seriously there is no place for love in my life. I continued.

"You love me and dont want me in your life.... huh.... better you should have said me NO. Why are you doing this to me?" She said and started crying.

Other passengers around were staring me as if i committed any crime.

"Everyone wants love and to be loved in life, why are you running away from it?" She continued.

I wanted to wipe her tears but restricted myself touching her.

Next station was VishwaVidyalaya, there we alight the train and came out of the station.

"Can we sit for sometime." I asked and then we sat on a bench under a tree.

After half an hour she broke silence and said that she was getting late and wanted to go.

I stood up and looked for an auto around.

She started stepping towards the auto but i called her back. I just wanted to kiss her last time and luckily she wanted the same.

Dont remember how but we started kissing. It was the best kiss i have ever had and it still is.

I loved the warmth, i loved the way she hugged me and loved her for every damn reason.

She Finally addressed me some golden words," I JUST WANT TO HATE YOU, BUT I CANT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

Then she stepped towards auto and I towards metro.

No one around cared about what happened because they were busy with the girls with them and vice versa.

We still talk with each other, once in a week or two and yes i havent met her after that day except 3 unconditional meetings.

It was my first (hopefully) encounter with love but FORTUNATELY i defeated love and threw it out from my life..